From Mom Brain to Memory Athlete: How Memory Training Changed My Life

People think I’m a little crazy for doing this — but on July 12th, I’ll be competing in the USA Memory Championship, where I’ll memorize a shuffled deck of cards, long strings of numbers, and lists of names, words, and images — all in just minutes.

This may sound intense, but memory training didn’t begin as a hobby or an intellectual challenge for me. It started as a lifeline — a response to the creeping fog I felt settling into my brain in my 40s.

As a single mom of two teenagers, I had a thousand things on my plate. I was constantly juggling parenting, work, home responsibilities, and my creative projects — and somewhere along the way, I started dropping more balls than I was catching.

I Took My Memory for Granted — Until I Couldn’t Anymore

In my teens and 20s, I took my memory for granted. I memorized facts for exams, and I got through my to-do list with relative ease. My brain was sharp, fast, and dependable.

In my 30s, I was deep in the trenches of raising young children. I didn’t think much about memory because I was too busy surviving each day. The mental load was immense — but I chalked up any forgetfulness to sleep deprivation and constant multitasking.

But in my 40s, the fog settled in. My daughters were older, and I finally had some breathing room. That’s when I realized how often I was forgetting things — and how deeply it was affecting my daily life, my confidence, and even my sense of identity.

The Everyday Struggles Added Up

At first, it was small things.

I forgot groceries in the car overnight.
I left clothes in the washer for days — more than once.
I forgot to send a close friend’s birthday present, because it sat in my trunk until it was embarrassingly late.

But over time, the forgetfulness chipped away at more than my routines. I started blanking on what I wanted to say during meetings. I’d walk into rooms and forget why I was there. I forgot names, even after being introduced multiple times.

I began to feel scattered, behind, and disconnected — not just from tasks, but from people.

It wasn’t just annoying. It was demoralizing.

The Science Behind It: Why Memory Declines After 40

I started researching what was happening to me, and what I found was both reassuring and sobering.

According to the National Institute on Aging, memory and processing speed begin to decline with age even among healthy adults. It’s a gradual process — one that most people don’t notice until it starts interfering with everyday life.

And it’s not just about remembering facts or appointments. When your memory starts to falter, it impacts your mood, confidence, and emotional well-being.

Studies show that people who experience memory lapses — even when not clinically significant — often feel more anxious, frustrated, and depressed.

And for women, the effects can be even more pronounced.

Women and Memory: The Hidden Impact of Midlife Shifts

As I dug deeper, I came across research showing that women may experience memory decline more sharply than men, especially in midlife.

According to a 2023 study women tend to experience faster cognitive decline in midlife — largely due to the drop in estrogen, which plays a key role in brain function.

That explained a lot.

The emotional labor of motherhood, the hormonal shifts, and the constant need to remember everything — from school deadlines to medical appointments — had left me mentally drained. I realized that I had spent decades using my memory in service of everyone else, without ever investing in how to take care of it.

So, I decided to do something radical.

Discovering Memory Training: A Turning Point

I came across books about memory athletes — people who train their brains to do amazing things, like memorizing hundreds of digits, random names, and entire decks of cards in minutes. At first, I thought, “That’s insane.” But I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I didn’t want to be a champion. I just wanted to stop forgetting the laundry.

I started with basic techniques like using images to remember things on my to-do list. And something incredible happened:

• I began remembering names — and that helped me reconnect socially and build deeper relationships.
• I remembered what I needed to do during the day — which gave me confidence to show up as a team player at work.
• I no longer forgot clothes in the washer — which meant my family had clean clothes when they needed them.
• And eventually, I started memorizing decks of cards. For fun. And yes, for competition.

Writing Again with Clarity and Confidence

One of the most unexpected benefits of memory training was how much it improved my creative focus.

Before, writing felt hard. I’d sit down to work on my novel, only to get lost in distractions, self-doubt, and scattered thoughts. But as my mental clarity improved, so did my ability to structure stories, hold scenes in my head, and stay present with my ideas.

That’s how I finished my debut novel, Choice in 2024. By early 2025 I finished my second novel, Lost Illusion, which is about breaking through the fog of self-doubt and learning to trust your intuition again. In many ways, the story mirrors my own journey — from mental exhaustion to renewed confidence and creative freedom, and it will be published in September 2025.

Why I’m Competing on July 12th — And Why It Matters

On July 12th, I’ll compete at the USA Memory Championship, where I’ll attempt challenges I never imagined possible for someone like me — a busy mom in her 40s who just wanted to stop forgetting things.

I’m doing it because memory training changed my life.
Because remembering is power.
Because it’s never too late to train your brain — and change your story.

What You Can Do (Even If You’re Not Competing)

If you’re struggling with forgetfulness, brain fog, or lack of focus — especially in midlife or later in life— please know you’re not alone. And you’re not stuck.

You can train your memory. You can strengthen your mind.
And it can impact everything: how you parent, how you show up at work, how you write, speak, create, and live.

Because you don’t have to be a champion to benefit from a better memory.
You just have to be open to the idea that you can improve your memory at any age.

With gratitude,
Dora